Life's Too Short

When I came home from my Intro to Shakespeare class the other day, I got to thinking about all of the themes we had been talking about within the class. One in particular is just now hitting me as a relevant point within my life, in a different context.

Masks

It's generally known that we all have them. The annoying person you are friendly to in passing, the good son/daughter in front of your parents, etc. But some masks I'm understanding less. I'm beginning to wonder how harmful some of these masks might actually be. Some things are too important to just mask over. I have usually been one for brute honesty and, as often as I can, someone who believes in understanding the rationale  behind any decision. As I've gotten older, I'm understanding more about myself and what I need from those around me. I don't need you to tell me I look terrible, but I do need to be told when I'm acting terrible. I don't need you to tell me what's easy, I need you to tell me what's hard. More often than not I appreciate more of an up-front, honest approach. You don't need to be cruel, just honest. You just don't want to hang out, that's cool..I have those moods too. You don't really feel much like talking, I get it. You want me, you don't, you feel upset about something I've done... whatever it is, TELL ME! What are we doing spending the short time we are allowed on this Earth not saying more of the things we are really feeling? And just as important, why do we waste anyone else's time or energy? I know I appreciate a straight answer because it saves me time and energy I would have spent wandering in a middle ground.

Sometimes I want to tell someone something so badly but I don't know if we're close enough of friends or something along those lines. But then I just need to remind myself that things like that can be so small in the long run. If I say what I want and it doesn't go over well, then hopefully we can move on. If we can't then that may not be the person I want around in my life anyway. Either way I did what I wanted and there is no 'what if's' involved. Life's too short to wonder about 'what if's'. And life's too short to hold back from the things you want.

Yeah, sometimes there are downsides to this way of thinking, but I don't want to live in a kind of fear that might prohibit something great, something liberating. Life's too short. So here I am, reinventing myself once again, or maybe just getting back to how I'm supposed to be. Hopefully my life will be better for it.


P.S. Night walks in San Francisco are slowly becoming my favorite. Tonight was a beautiful night.